So I missed a month… November was so hectic. Final projects, exams, and four days off to get even more behind in work. November was certainly busy but it’s now December and with just a few more days of school, I’m definitely aniticipating the time down. No winter projects, no finals when we return… the semester is over and for three weeks I will be completely worry free and able to enjoy whatever Christmas turns out to be this year.
And I’m also cold… but that’s okay. =]
Someone told me that college isn’t about academics; it’s about getting through the red tape. Unfortunately, that red tape isn’t only the red tape that’s preventing your financial aid from coming through or finding some way to submit the paper a day late. It’s about understanding everyone around you. Your family, the friends you’ve had for years, the friends you’ll make now, and even that special someone. College isn’t about being smart and making sure your GPA stays above a 2.7 in order to keep the scholarship. It’s about getting to know everyone around you for the first time. It’s about realizing your power and the things that are important to you–not the things you were told to be important. It’s about being able to filter all the information you’re given and making decision on the things you will and will not let effect you. It’s about making the right choices and dealing with the outcomes when you’ve made the wrong ones. It’s about realizing that everyone around you is changing and you’re no exception… even if it doesn’t feel that way. It’s about finding out what you really like the things you just can’t tolerate. It’s about discovering the things you need and the things you just can’t compromise.
College is really finding yourself.
College is where I realized there are always regrets.
College is hard.
Joel is a poor college student but he still appreciates nice things. Joel would be most grateful to receive theses gifts sometime in the near future. =]
It’s only been a few days and it seems as if college means not only a change in my surroundings but a change in my friends as well… I think. It may be that I’m just too serious about things. It could be that the transition is just weirding me out. Maybe the move has allowed me to see things in a new perspective. Could it be that my friends changed in only three days or am I just feaking out? I guess I’ve personally done a lot of changing in terms of what’s now important to me… my faith, my family. These are things I always seemed to be running from; always wanting to get away. Now I’d love to have it all back.
Then again, maybe I’m not changing. Maybe these values were always a part of me. Maybe I just never seemed to have use for them before and now that I’m left to fend for myself, I see the importance of them (among other things). It could be that my friends are the ones who changed. What if they’re the ones who see things in a whole new light and can’t help but leap into this new life they’ve been given.
Or maybe, all of us have done some changing. Maybe some of it is for the best while some for the worst. I don’t know. I could be wrong. Maybe… but maybe not?
So it’s the end of Day three and college has certainly been… “different.” Different city, different school, different room, different bed. Not a thing is the same. It is what I will call home for the next four years, at least. I’m discovering that the aftershock may be worst than I anticipated. Slowly but surely, however, I’m pretty sure it will all soon become the norm. My bed will be my bed and not just a bed. The people I walk past everyday will hopefully soon be friends and not just people. And this will hopefully soon be home. I don’t want college to be just “something I have to do.” I want to try my hardest to make it more than that. If these are suppose to be the best times of my life, I want to make sure I live it to the fullest, having no regrets down the line. Yes–no regrets.
This is my chance to get rid of the “anti-social” label I’ve put opon myself and become one who’s independent and ready to tackle the world on my own. And though I’m never really alone, I need to be able to do more than just get by when it feels as though I am. I’m still the thinker. The worrier. The one who’s always afraid of change. I need to be the one who gets past all that. That is something I just “have to do.”
Let’s see how this goes. It has to go well. It has to.
|
